Too Big to Forgive?


Lord, how many times do I need to forgive a person who’s hurt me?

Relationships can be difficult. People don’t always speak to each other in charitable ways and people don’t always treat each other kindly. We can’t really expect the relationships in our lives to be “perfect” because people aren’t “perfect.” And what that means is that we’re all going to need to have healthy boundaries that we create to protect ourselves, and we’re all going to need to find ways to rebuild relationships after we’ve been hurt.

In this week’s message, “Too Big to Forgive?”, we’re challenged to ask ourselves two huge questions: (1) How do we know when the sins that people have committed against us are too big to forgive? and  (2) How do we decide when someone’s hurt us too many times?

When we’re hurt by others, we usually step back and do an inner “damage assessment” to determine the magnitude and the severity of the hurt. The decision to forgive doesn’t always come easily. We may, in fact, need to talk with other people and to process what has happened to us. But, on the bottom line, forgiveness is always going to involve the decision to forgive. Forgiveness is always going to be about learning to open our hands and let go of something that has happened to us that was real. And sometimes, what we need to release may be little. And sometimes, what we need to release may be huge.

Has someone done something to you that’s “Too Big to Forgive?”

Let’s open our Bibles to Matthew 18:21-35 and explore that question together as people of faith.


Read Through the Bible – Week 29


Welcome back to “Read Through the Bible”

I want to begin, this week, by congratulating you. Many people tell me that they would like to read through the Bible, but many of those same people tell me that they’ve never done it for one reason or another. Reading through the entire Bible can seem to be a big and unmanageable task, but even large and unmanageable tasks can be accomplished by taking small, consistent steps forward on a daily basis. And I’m hoping that this weekly “Read Through the Bible” addition to my blog has helped you to develop a daily pattern of taking time to read God’s Word and to think about what God’s saying to you.

I’ve always found it hard to read the book of Proverbs.

When I’m reading through the book of Proverbs, it’s almost like I’m being blasted with a whole bunch of different and unrelated ideas at the same time. A single chapter of the book of Proverbs can present dozens of different ideas. This week, our reading from the book of Proverbs will speak about: false scales, wealth, living a good life, the righteous being delivered from trouble, spreading false information about others, our need to have worthy counselors, posting a bond for others, gracious women and violent men, crooked hearts, etc. I could go on and on and on….

But, one proverb that stands-out to me says: “Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but the man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” (Proverbs 11:12-13)

Friendships are often marked by the sharing of secrets. Friends talk with us about things that are happening in their lives that they don’t want to share with other people. Friends sometimes tell us about painful experiences in their pasts, or about the very, real battles that they’re facing right now. And the question always is: “What do I do with information that friends share with me?”

Private information can become the topic of gossip – and it can be used to destroy the reputations of other people. Private information that friends share with us can be freely spread during conversations that should probably never happen, or it can be kept “covered” as Proverbs 11:13 suggests. And that’s something we need to think about when friends share private information believing that we’ll keep private information private.

And so, this week, as we continue our journey through the book of Proverbs, I’d like to challenge you to think about what you do when your friends and family members share private information with you. Do you spread what you’ve learned, or do you keep what you’ve learned buried deep in your heart? Do you share what you’ve been told through gossip as soon as you have a chance, or do you carry the private information that’s been entrusted to you by a person who trusts you both “covered” and “unrevealed”?

Here’s this week’s readings:

Sunday: Colossians 3-4 – Monday: Leviticus 16-18 – Tuesday: 2 Kings 11-15 – Wednesday: Psalms 84-86 – Thursday: Proverbs 11-12 – Friday: Ezekiel 31-36 – Saturday: Luke 21-22