Handling Conflict – Part 5

I began this series of posts about conflict by stating that none of us can avoid conflict in our lives and in our relationships with other people. We are like porcupines who can travel through life without much angst and confusion when we’re left to ourselves; but, when we begin to interact with other porcupines, we need to realize that there are going to be times when we are stuck by the quills of others and when we are going to stick a few people ourselves. This is a natural part of human relationships and there is not much that we can do about it. However, we have many options and opportunities during times of conflict with others. And so, as I bring this series of posts to an end, I would like to summarize some of the things that we have explored together:

First, in times of conflict, we need to remember the Eighth Commandment, and we need to be able to separate what happened from our interpretation of what happened. Some of the conflicts in our lives are created by the things that other people do and some of the conflicts in our lives are caused by our interpretations of things that other people do. Perhaps the tension and stress in our lives would begin to decrease if we learned to separate what has happened in our lives from our interpretation of what has happened? Perhaps we can find a sense of peace and calm in our lives, even when we are feeling weary and frazzled, by stepping back and by trying to interpret the actions of others in a more kind and gentle way?

Second, in times of conflict, we are all going to need to choose a path forward after we have carefully reflected upon what happened and have tried to interpret the actions of other people in the kindest way. Can we accept the fact that porcupines cannot avoid sticking each other with their quills? How do we decide if our strained relationship can be mended, or if the fine china plate has been so severely damaged that it can no longer be repaired? There are three different kinds of conflict: (1) there are conflicts that arise simply because porcupines cannot help but stick each other once in a while, (2) there are conflicts where the relationship has suffered some damage, but can be repaired, and (3) there are conflicts where the relationship has been so severely damaged that there is no longer a road back. Which type of situation are you facing in this time of conflict? How is your understanding of what has happened going to shape your End Game? Your End Game is, ultimately, your choice.

Third, in times of conflict, we can return to the teachings of Jesus for guidance. The person who has hurt you may want to apologize to you if you simply talk to him/her one-on-one. If that does not work, you may want to take one or two level-headed and fair-minded people along with you the next time you talk. Please remember that this is not about finding allies and Triangulation. This is about level-headed and fair-minded people being asked to help to keep the discussion on track as a path toward resolution is sought. If that does not work, you may need to get other people involved. If you are a part of a church, synagogue, mosque or temple, you can probably rely upon some sort of governing board. If you have experienced sexual abuse within the Church, you may want to contact the Bishop, another leader and the police. You have the right to be heard and to be taken seriously, but moving conflict to higher and higher levels of hurt, distrust and embarrassment may not be necessary. Remember: The goal of Jesus’ teaching about how to handle conflict is to help you to regain your brother or sister. Dragging more and more people into the middle of a conflict may not be the most fruitful approach.

And fourth, in times of conflict, you need to clearly ask yourself if you are being physically or emotionally abused. You are precious and valuable. God smiled on the day when you were born and God is cheering for you, right now. You are a good person who deserves to live a good life. God created you to have good relationships with people who love you; but, maybe because of what is happening in your life right now, you have begun to doubt that. Abuse changes people’s lives and abuse changes how people think. If you think that you somehow deserve what is happening to you, I want to assure you that that is not true. If you are confused and doubting yourself, I want to remind you that God has given you a wonderful mind and the ability to think. If you are feeling both alone and isolated, please remember that there are still people who care about you and who want you to have a good life. If you are feeling trapped right now and believe that you don’t have any options, I want you to know that there are people in your community who are more than willing to help you to escape what’s happening and who are willing to help you to get back on your feet and move in a better direction. And, if you have been told by a religious leader that it is your duty to submit to the person who is abusing you, I want you to know that you have been told a lie. You are precious and valuable, and there is no kind of relationship in your life that is so important for you to maintain that you need to jeopardize your physical or emotional health – or even your own life.

I hope that this series of posts has helped you to think about conflicts that you have, or may have, with other people. Please remember that conflict is an unavoidable part of human relationships; however, conflicts come in many different shapes and sizes. Some conflicts can be resolved with a simple apology, but other conflicts can create enough damage in a relationship that there is no longer a way back. Please choose your End Game wisely and remember to pray as you are trying to decide what to do. Jesus has promised to be with us in times of conflict, and Jesus will surely point you in the right direction when you ask for His help.

Handling Conflict – Part 4

We have been discussing ways to journey through times of unavoidable conflict in the last three parts of this series. We have talked about the fact that people are a lot like porcupines. We can usually sail through life pretty smoothly on our own; but, once we begin to interact with other people, we cannot help but stick other people with our quills once in a while, or be stuck by the quills of other people. We talked about the fact that, during times of conflict, we need to be able to separate what happened from our interpretation of what happened; and we talked about the fact that, at some point, we all need to assess the damage that’s been caused by the conflict. And then, in the third part of this series, we talked about a method of conflict resolution that Jesus provides for those who follow Him. And, if you recall, each step of this process involves trying to regain your brother or sister. Think about the fact that, when Jesus was asked how to pray, He included these words: “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Many conflicts can be resolved if we’re simply willing to accept the fact that other people are no more perfect than we are and that most people are not trying to intentionally hurt and offend others any more than we are.

But it is not always that easy, is it?

We have talked about the fact that our relationships can be like pieces of fine china. A piece of fine china that has been dropped on the floor might be able to be glued back together. However, pieces of fine china that have been dropped on the floor may not be able to be glued together. Sometimes, quite sadly, our relationships with other people need to end; and this is most certainly true when some sort of physical or emotional abuse is occurring.

Abuse can be very confusing. People who are abused sometimes think that they are causing the person who is abusing them to hurt them. Abusive people often use something called “gaslighting” to confuse the people that they are hurting and to make their victims doubt their own sound reasoning. People who are abused often believe that there is nothing they can do to escape the horrible situation that they are facing because they cannot imagine what it would we like to leave. A lack of money can cause someone who is being abused to put up with what is happening. The lack of a place to live can be problematic. Uncertainty about the future of little children can create great angst. And, of course, many people who are being abused believe that the person who is abusing them will simply track them down and terrorize them if they decide to leave. The reasons to stay are many and the way to leave may not be clear. People who are being abused sometimes do not know what to do.

Let me remind you that you are precious and valuable. God smiled on the day when you were born and God is cheering for you, right now. You are a good person who deserves to live a good life. God created you to have good relationships with people who love you; but, maybe because of what is happening in your life right now, you have begun to doubt that. Abuse changes people’s lives and abuse changes how people think. If you think that you somehow deserve what is happening to you, I want to assure you that that is not true. If you are confused and doubting yourself, I want to remind you that God has given you a wonderful mind and the ability to think. If you are feeling both alone and isolated, please remember that there are still people who care about you and who want you to have a good life. If you are feeling trapped right now and believe that you don’t have any options, I want you to know that there are people in your community who are more than willing to help you to escape what’s happening and who are willing to help you to get back on your feet and move in a better direction.

Many people inside the Church have been told that they need to continue to make the best of horrible situations. I once heard about a pastor who told an abused woman that it was her Godly duty to continue submitting to her husband. Many Christians continue to remain in horrible situations because they can remember the day when they stood before God and said: “Until death do us part.” Many people continue to look at a divorce as a personal failure. And the Church has not helped. The Church continues to tell women to submit to their husbands and to keep their mouths shut. The Church continues to tell people who are divorced that they are not welcome to receive the Sacrament of Holy Communion. The Church continues to proclaim that every relationship can be mended by forgiveness. The Church continues to tell people who have been sexually abused by members of the clergy that the problem is being fixed; and yet, the Church continues to protect members of the clergy who are named as perpetrators of sexual abuse by keeping files that contain important information sealed and by offering solutions to the problem that are far from clear. If you have been told that you need to continue to endure abuse, you have been told a lie. God weeps with you when you cry, and Jesus feels the pain every time someone hits you. God created you to live in a relationship where you are respected and loved. God understands that you may need to walk away from a relationship because of the physical or emotional abuse. God understands that you are lonely, and God will send people to support you. And guess what? No matter what you have heard from a pastor, priest, rabbi or imam, I want you to hear, right now, that God understands that a divorce is better than death.

And so, what are some things that you can do if you are caught in an abusive relationship?

First, let someone that you trust know about what is happening. People who are being abused often feel isolated and alone. Abusers often try to isolate people that they are hurting to protect themselves and to limit the options that are available to the people that they are abusing. You may be feeling totally cut off from your family and friends. You may believe that people are not going to believe you. You may have already tried to reach out to someone that you know. Many people that you know are afraid to get involved in situations that involve physical or emotional abuse. Many people that you know find it hard to accept the fact that people who are prominent and beloved leaders in their community are abusive behind closed doors. Isolation is scary and it is sometimes difficult to admit you are being abused to another person. But please remember that God does not want you to be alone. In the very Beginning, God saw that it is not good for any of us to be alone as we journey through life. Is there someone that you can talk with about what is happening in your life? Make a list of possibilities and promise yourself that you are going to talk with one of the people on your list as soon as you have the chance to do it.

Second, it is probably a good idea to explore what resources are available to you. You may want to do some exploring yourself, or you may want to ask someone who knows what is happening in your life to give you some help. Many communities have shelters where women and men who are being abused can land if they decide that they need to get away. Many of those very same shelters can help people who are being abused pursue legal actions that can result in protection from abuse orders. Some of those same shelters offer free counseling services. Some shelters even help people who have been abused to settle into a new home and start anew. You may, or may not, want to do this research yourself. Many shelters offer toll-free telephone lines, but the telephone number remains visible in your cellphone’s call history. Please remember to clear your web browser’s history if you search for help on the Internet. Many abusers want to control the people that they are hurting, and spend time searching through telephone and web browser histories. Please be careful. Help is available, but you may need some assistance to find it.

Third, you may want to think about what you will do when you decide that you want to get away. Are you going to need the assistance of another person (i.e. do you have access to a car, etc.)? Where are you going to go and how are you going to get to that place? Is there anything that you need to take with you? What are you going to do if there are children in the household? At this point, these questions may be very overwhelming. Please remember that it is OK for you to feel overwhelmed at this point. But please remember that, if you decide to leave, you are going to need to have a place to go. Your trusted friend(s) may be able to help you. Many pastors, priests, rabbis, imams and counselors can help to point you in the right direction. You are not alone, but how and when you are going to leave is, ultimately, your own choice.

Lastly, if you decide you need to get away, please remember that you are going to hear many apologies and many promises from the person who has been abusing you. How many times have you already heard, “I’m sorry”? How many times have you been told that what happened to you is never going to happen again? People who are abusing others make many promises and offer many apologies, but their patterns of behavior seldom change. One of the best things that you can do is turn your cellphone off, so that you’re not tempted to answer telephone calls, respond to text messages and emails, or even respond to messages posted on social media. One of the things that you are going to need, if you decide to get away from the person who is abusing you, is some time to think. You will probably be numb and confused. You might be afraid of what is going to happen to you. Your head will probably be spinning. But I promise you that your mind will settle and you will find that you are able to think more clearly when you have some time and space. Lean on the people that you trust. Take advantage of free counseling or legal help that is being offered. And remember that you are both precious and valuable, and that you deserve to be surrounded and to be supported by people who care about you.  

Conflict is something that none of us can avoid. But please remember that there is a difference between conflict and abuse. Times of conflict can be addressed and ended by using some of the principles that I have offered in my previous posts, but physical and emotional abuse are different. You cannot reason with someone who is continuing to abuse you. You cannot trust that the person who is abusing you is going to change after a heart-felt apology. We all deserve to feel safe; and, while times of conflict can be filled with both angst and discomfort, physical and emotional abuse cannot be explained away and ignored. If you are being abused today, you need to get away from your abuser, so that you have time to think and to clearly look toward the future. I, of course, cannot tell you what you need to do after you have gotten away from the person who is abusing you. The decisions that you are going to make are your own. But what I can do is offer you some insights and ideas that may help to save your life.

Calming Music

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Martin Luther once said that, next to the Word of God, the devil dislikes music more than anything else in the world. Music can calm our hearts and lift our spirits. Music can help to restore a sense of peace in our lives and quiet our racing thoughts. Sometimes, I like to simply stop at the end of the day and listen to calming music before I go to bed.

We are traveling through a very unusual and stressful time right now. And, in response to that, I’ve added a new menu option to my blog entitled Calming Music.  I’ve enjoyed playing the piano for many years and have even written some music and hymns of my own. I, also, enjoy creating new arrangements of familiar songs and hymns. I am offering these original recordings of familiar hymns and other songs for you to enjoy hoping that they can bring you moments of calm and peace in the midst of this storm. Please feel free to share them with other people that you know.

One of the songs I have included in this collection is an original composition entitled, “Through the Years.” I wrote this song while journeying through life with a very dear friend who was dying. I recently added an oboe part to the score. I have, also, added some other instrumentation to some of the songs that I have included in this short collection to add some variety to your listening experience.

I hope that you will enjoy listening to these songs that I’ve played and that they will bring you a sense of calm and peace during these unusual and challenging times.

Click Here to Listen to “Calming Music”

Do You Want to be Healed?

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I suspect that we all have questions about healing.

We can all see the difference between those who appear to be healthy and those who are struggling with disease. Even little children can sense the distinction between justice and oppression. Almost all major religions try to speak a helpful word to those who struggle with human mortality and to point them to the hope of eternity. Today, we experience many gaps between where we live and experience life today and where God’s promised to take us in the future.

This week’s story is one of my favorite stories from the Bible.

Picture mighty Naaman, an “important” man who lived his life commanding others to do what he wanted them to do. Picture this same man carrying 750 pounds of silver and 150 pounds of gold across nearly 80 miles of untamed wilderness. And when Naaman gets to Elisha’s house, he expects something big to happen.

But we read that the prophet Elisha didn’t even come out of his house to meet Naaman.

And then, we hear this very human response from a man who expected the prophet to heal him. “I thought that FOR ME the prophet would surely come out!” Naaman says to those who were traveling with him. And, in those very human words, we can hear our own voices can’t we? Have you ever expected God to do something big and spectacular in your life? Have you ever asked God to ride onto the scene and heal a terminal disease, or give you something that you really wanted? Have you ever been disappointed because God didn’t do what you expected? That’s the beauty of this story.

We’re reminded, in the story of Naaman, that God doesn’t always bring healing into our lives in big and spectacular ways. God brings healing through the touch of doctors and nurses, and through the medications that we take. God sometimes brings healing into our live while we’re talking with a trusted friend, a professional counselor, or even a pastor. God fills us with strength and faith as we come to the Table to be forgiven and renewed by Bread and Wine – the Body and Blood of Jesus. God, sometimes, even helps us to bring healing into the lives of other people through the kindness, forgiveness and compassion that we extend to other people when they need it most.

At this end of this wonderful story, there’s a hidden gem!

Picture mighty Naaman, a commander of soldiers, walking down to the Jordan River to wash himself in the water. Naaman, undoubtedly, wore heavy armor. He wanted to look strong and ferocious in battle. He, also, wore his armor everywhere he went because a thick layer of armor also hides leprosy, doesn’t it? Can you imagine what would have happened if Naaman had just walked to the water – wearing armor? Can you imagine Naaman sinking like a rock as his armor dragged him to the bottom of the river?

As Naaman approached the Jordan, he needed to remove his armor didn’t he? Before Naaman could be healed, he needed to remove the armor that protected him from other soldiers in battle and from the eyes of those who would have been shocked when they saw his leprosy. And healing often begins in our lives when we do the same thing.

Sometimes, we need to remove the “masks” that we all wear before God can work in our lives to bring healing. How many times have you told people that you’re “fine” when you really weren’t? How many times have you carried burdens that you carefully concealed because you didn’t want other people to know what was happening in your life, or even in your family? Healing often begins when we become both honest and authentic with ourselves and other people. The “masks” that we wear aren’t always helpful.

Jesus once called us to come to Him when we’re heavy laden and nearly overcome. Jesus calls us gather with other Christians in a community of faith where we can be forgiven and strengthened, renewed and even healed.

What are you going to be doing this weekend? Perhaps, it’s time for you to push all of the busyness of life aside, for just a moment, and to find a precious place to rest with those who love you and who want what’s best for you? God’s calling you, right now, to set aside some time in the next few days; and to spend time with people who will strengthen, heal, renew, and help to make you whole again.

Please Click Here for This Week’s Message

The Mission Interpreter

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How are choices and decisions you make each day connected to your journey of faith?

You live in a complex Age where change surrounds you. You probably feel overwhelmed by a constant stream of news and information that summons your attention by sending the invasive pop, ding, or silent vibration that invades every part of your daily life. You most likely believe in God, but you may have decided that you don’t want to be affiliated with a local church, synagogue, mosque or temple. And yet, you still want to make some sort of difference in the world. You still want to believe that God is somehow working in your life and in the lives of the people that you love. Perhaps, what you need are stories that remind you that God’s at work in our lives and in the world, and mental morsels to challenge you to think about the relationship between your daily living and faith?

I believe that there’s always a next step for us to take in our journey of faith, and I am dedicated to working with people who want to take the next step forward in their journey of faith with confidence and courage. And, that’s why I’ve added a link to the menu on this site that takes you to my newest blog entitled: “The Mission Interpreter”.

This is a place where you’ll discover ways that God’s people are making a difference in the world, right now. This is a place where the leaders of churches and synagogues and mosques and temples will be challenged to reflect and to grow. This is a place where you will be challenged to think about the relationship between daily living and the kinds of choices and commitments you make each day. This is a place where you’ll be challenged to explore the ways that choices and decisions you make are connected to your journey of faith and to your relationship with God.

You can receive updates every time new material is added to “The Mission Interpreter” by following the blog itself as a regular user of WordPress – or you can provide an email address where links to new material can be send. I hope you’ll also share information about this new blog with your friends, so that they can, also, be encouraged by the fact that people of faith continue to do life-changing things in our quickly-changing world.

To get started, why not take a moment to investigate “The Mission Interpreter” and to read one of the newest, thought-provoking posts: “Stewardship, Stoles, and Suicide” – a piece that tells the tragic story of a pastor who recently committed suicide and that offers some ideas that can help congregations to support and encourage pastors who struggle with issues of sadness, discouragement, depression and anxiety – just like so many other folks do in the Church. You can, also, find several inspiring stories that point to the power of prayer and that lift-up the good that God’s people do when they join hands and work as a team. You’ll even find a thought-provoking piece that challenges Church leaders to remember the importance of storytelling as they prepare to make financial appeals.

I hope that “The Mission Interpreter” will provide something helpful for everyone who visits the site. You’ll notice that there’s, also, a CONTACT ME link on the site. Please let me know if you; the congregation, synagogue, mosque or temple that you attend; or a group of people that you know are joining hands to do something that points others to the God who continues to call us to express our faith in a way that touches and changes lives.

Read Through the Bible – Weeks 36 and 37

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Welcome back to “Read Through the Bible”

The Bible is full of many instructions and exhortations. We’re called to love the Lord our God with all of our hearts and minds and spirits, and we’re called to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves. (Matthew 22:35-40) We’re called to preach the Word, and to reprove, rebuke and exhort with patience. (2 Timothy 4:2) We’re called to fight the good fight and to keep the faith (1 Timothy 6:12), and we’re told that we always need to be ready to bear witness to the hope that’s inside of us. (1 Peter 3:15)

And it all sounds pretty exhausting.

One of the things that I see more and more these days is that people are tired. We fill our days with an almost endless list of chores, and we go to bed thinking about what we’re going to do the first thing tomorrow morning. I recently told a friend of mine that I often feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends while trying to light the middle. I fall asleep as soon as I sit down in my recliner. I start to snore as soon as my head hits the pillow. I often wake-up exhausted in the morning, and then pull myself together and get-on with the rest of the day. Does that sound familiar? Could you be writing these words?

But even in the midst of the craziness we call life, Jesus reminds us that He is the “vine” and we are the “branches.” (John 15:5)

Part of our spiritual journey is learning to find those precious places in life where God nourishes us and sustains us. Can we see God’s presence in the people that God sends to stand beside us and encourage us? Can we hear God’s call to stop and to build our lives around the things that we believe God wants us to do with our time and energy? Can we hear God’s call to see the value of Sabbath rest? God promises to nourish and sustain us, but God also calls us to stop and to remain focused. Jesus promises us that the Great Vine will continue to supply what we need the most to grow and flourish, but Jesus reminds us that we will all have times when we need to be pruned and trimmed-back in order to bear the fruits of God’s Reign.

This week, I’d like to encourage you to stop and to think about the places in life where you’re being nourished and sustained by God. I’d also like to encourage you stop and to think about parts of your life that God might be trying to trim-back and prune right now.

Faith calls us to love the Lord our God with all of our hearts and minds and spirits, and to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves. Faith calls to preach the Word, and to reprove, rebuke and exhort with patience. Faith calls to fight the good fight and to keep the faith while always remaining ready to bear witness to the hope that’s inside of us.

And it all sounds pretty exhausting.

How are you being sustained by the Vine? Where can you see those special places where God comes to nourish and sustain you? Is God calling you to stop and to allow Him to do a bit of pruning, so that you’ll continue to bear the fruit that He wants you to bear? Can you hear the God who loves you calling you to search for precious moments of Sabbath rest, so that you’ll remain both healthy and whole as you continue to live-out your faith and live-into God’s plan for your life?

Here are the weekly readings:

Week #36

Sunday: 2 Timothy 3-4 – Monday: Numbers 13-16 – Tuesday: 1 Chronicles 20-24 – Wednesday: Psalms 105-107 – Thursday: Proverbs 22 – Friday: Joel – Saturday: John 13-15

Week #37

Sunday: Titus – Monday: Numbers 17-20 – Tuesday: 1 Chronicles 25-29 – Wednesday: Psalms 108-110 – Thursday: Proverbs 23-24 – Friday: Amos 1-4 – Saturday: John 16-18

Faith and Wellness

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Life’s pretty complicated, isn’t it?

We live in an Age of soaring blood pressure, out-of-control cholesterol levels, expanding waist bands, and anti-anxiety medications. We have commitments to our families and to our employers. We have things that we need to do right now and things that we need to do tomorrow. We have commitments to our nation and commitments to our God.

Have you ever felt like a juggler who’s spinning plates at a circus?

Have you ever wondered if there’s enough of you to go around?

If so, you really need to listen to this week’s message: “Faith and Wellness”.

“Faith and Wellness” are intimately connected because God created us to be people who live lives that are healthy and whole. God wants us to work and earn a living – but God doesn’t want us to focus so much energy upon earning money that we neglect the people that we love. God wants us to grow intellectually and to have time to relax – but God also wants us to eat healthy foods and exercise. God wants us to do the things that are most important to us and that we enjoy – but God also calls us to offer some of our time and energy and wealth to the building-up of His Reign on the earth. It’s challenging. Finding new ways to integrate the basic pieces of our lives and blend them together into a strong and healthy whole isn’t easy. But, if we want to be healthy and whole, we need to realize that “Faith and Wellness” are intimately connected.

We can begin to consider ways to more effectively balance our lives as we reflect upon the “Wholeness Wheel” that’s provided above – and we can all improve the quality of our lives as we continue to remember that God calls us to give adequate attention to all of the different parts of our lives without allowing anything – but God – to gain control of the whole thing.

 

Mental Health Awareness Month

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Organizations throughout the world will be focusing on the issue of mental health during the month of May. Mental wellness, according to the World Health Organization, is: “a state of well-being where one can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work both productively and fruitfully, and is able to contribute to his or her community.”

Did you know that you are more likely to encounter a person in an emotional or mental crisis than you are to encounter someone having a heart attack? Did you know nearly 3 million people are treated for anxiety-related disorders every year – and that outpatient treatments for depression cost people nearly $18 billion each year? Did you know that many mental illnesses (like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder) first strike young adults in their early 20’s? Did you know mental illness dramatically increase risk factors such as substance abuse, risky sex, prescription drug misuse, excessive spending, and even troublesome exercise routines? Did you know that people who are suffering from mental illness are far more likely to be the victim of a violent crime that they are to commit one?

Unfortunately, people who suffer from mental illnesses are still stigmatized and pushed to the fringes of society because people remain both uninformed and afraid. We accept the fact that people’s arteries can become blocked, and that people’s pancreas can stop producing insulin. We stand beside folks who are fighting cancer, and we participate in support activities that are created to fight diseases. But what happens when someone’s brain chemistry changes? What happens when a person’s behavior is affected by a change that occurs inside their head? People who act in unusual ways can be scary to us. People who struggle with mental illness are often driven into silence, and often fight their battle alone because other people just do not want to get involved. I believe that God calls us, as Christians and as the Church, to something better than that. And I truly believe that the compassionate Lord challenges us to learn, to grow, and to love people that we find hard to understand and to fully embrace.

During Mental Health Awareness month, I’d like to challenge you to do several things:

  1. Learn – remembering that knowledge and insight are important first steps. The National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) provides information for people who are interested in learning about mental health, and provides helpful information for those who struggle with mental illness and their families. You can find more information by visiting: namiswpa.org
  2. Be Real – remembering that help is available to those who need it. You can take a first, big step by contacting your family doctor. I would be more than happy to sit down with you and to talk – and to help you to find a path forward. If you are a bit reluctant to take a “big step” like that, you might want to take a “Mental Health Screening” in the privacy of your own home during the month of May. You can find a great “Mental Health Screening” at: mentalhealthamerica.net. The “Resources” link on Mental Health America’s website can help you to screen for depression, alcohol or substance abuse, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and eating disorders. That same site provides a screening that young people (between the ages of 11 and 17) can use if they’re concerned that they might be having a problem, and another screening that parents can use if they think that their teenager is facing a challenge.
  3. Be Ready – remembering that times of crisis are NOT the time to start looking for more information and resources. If you’re feeling suicidal (or if someone tells you that he/she is thinking about ending his/her own life) call 911 so that you can get the help that you need without a moment’s hesitation! “NOW Mental Health” also provides a 24/7 suicide prevention hotline: 1-855-990-6729. “NOW Mental Health” network also provides instant access to professionally trained staff and referral to facilities that are spread across our country.
  4. Be Open – remembering that people at Christ’s Lutheran Church want to stand beside you and your family. We have a “Family Fund” that can help pay for your visit to a counselor, or that can help you to purchase prescribed medications that you need for self-care. Please, also, remember that I’ve worked as a chaplain at several hospitals and that I have had some experience working with people who are struggling with the challenges of mental illness. Any conversations that you have with me and any sort of assistance that you receive from the church will be offered in the strictest of confidence. What really matters most is YOU…!

I hope that, as we move through this month, we’ll all find ways to learn more about the challenges that people face when they struggle with mental illnesses. It’s time for us to learn to talk about things that make us feel uncomfortable, and it’s time for us to learn new ways to support people who are facing tough times. Our compassionate Lord calls us to love and to embrace each other – and part of learning to do that, as individuals and as a church, is learning to open our hearts and allow people to speak, both honestly and authentically, about the challenges that they’re facing in life – continuing to discover and growing-into what it means to be “Christ’s Church for All People.”

Blessings!